Jim Taylor's Soft Edges
Travel rules…
Wednesday July 26, 2006
While on holiday, I picked up a book called McCarthy's
Bar, written by an expatriate Irishman called Pete McCarthy.
His first rule of travel was, “Never pass a bar that has your name
on it.” Others included, “Never eat in a restaurant that has laminated
menus,” and “Never ask a British Airways stewardess for another glass of
wine until she's good and ready to give it to you.”
Or an Air Canada flight attendant, for that matter.
I thought it might be fun to identify some of my own rules – some
serious, some not -- since I suspect I have travelled at least as widely as
Mr. McCarthy. (These are listed in no particular order of importance.)
 | When attending Sunday worship in a strange church, never attempt to
make change for $20 from the collection plate. |
| Never ask a waiter if the tip is included in your bill. It won't be
Even if it is. |
| When visiting another congregation, thank the preacher warmly, but
don't attempt to discuss anything specific in the sermon. Especially if
it's a theological point. Whatever you think you heard, they didn't
actually say. And even if they did, they didn't mean it that way. |
| Never pay in dollars when you're not in dollar territory. The store
may offer to convert your VISA charge from Euros or Pounds or
Yazmagullions into dollars. Don't. You'll pay a premium rate, plus a
commission for making the exchange. Pay in the local currency; let VISA
(or whoever) convert it at the prevailing bank rate. |
| When you visit a congregation on your holiday, don't expect the
service to reflect local custom. The regular preacher is also on holiday.
The guest speaker's main qualification was just being available. |
| When visiting any area where the local tongue is incomprehensible –
Spain, Italy, or any Southern Baptist congregation – make sure you know
what you're saying “Yes” to. |
| Never pass up a biffy break. It may be three hours before the next
time the bus stops. When you arrive anywhere, check the location of the
washrooms before doing anything else. |
| Always go for coffee in the church hall after a worship service. As
you stand there holding a lukewarm cup while the local parishioners all
hold impromptu meetings with each other, you'll discover how strangers
feel when they visit your congregation. |
| Find out the local beer or wine. Impress your server by asking for it
by name. Unless she's from Australia, working her way around the world,
and has never heard of it. |
| Remove earphones and turn off listening devices during symphony concerts, conducted tours, and other public events. Especially, do not listen to World Cup finals during worship services, lest you let out a whoop of celebration during the prayer of confession. |
Perhaps you have some of your own “rules of travel.” Send them to me,
jimt@quixotic.ca Who knows – they might make another column.
Jim Taylor
 Soft Edges
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Jim Taylor has more than 40 years experience writing and editing, in broadcasting, magazines, newspapers, and books. He was for 13 years the managing editor of a 330,000 circulation magazine; he co-founded a publishing house; he has written 13 books and has lost count of the number of magazine articles. Although theoretically retired, he continues to edit two or three books a year, dispenses advice liberally, and teaches his Eight-Step Editing workshops across Canada.
