I think I shall banish the words “good kid” from my vocabulary.
        Our daily newspaper carried a story recently about a 21-year-old man who had been under house arrest for theft and fraud. He had previously pleaded guilty to 16 charges, which included possession of stolen credit cards, identity theft, and counterfeit money. He had also stolen the master key to a community mailbox and stolen a $17,000 cheque.
        While he was still serving that 15-month sentence, the RCMP raided the house he was living in. They said that they found more forged credit cards, birth certificates, stolen drivers' licences, and counterfeit money.
        “He's a good kid,” said the suspect's father. “He just wants the easy way.”
        Hunh?

Beyond racism
        About the time we left Toronto, the city police were coming under criticism for shooting black youths. I'm sure there was, and still is, racism among Toronto police officers; I suspect some cops were indeed more likely to shoot at a black driver fleeing in a stolen car than at a white driver. But that's not my point.
        Over and over, after another black youth had been shot, one of his parents would say, “I don't know why they shot him. He was a good kid…”
        Of course. He was a good kid who stole cars. Or robbed corner grocery stores. Or mugged old ladies. Or raced cars on residential streets. Or vandalized school buildings…
        One such “good kid” showed up in Toronto court recently facing 40 gang-related charges that included 13 violent robberies.
        That kind of behaviour may not deserve summary execution by police bullet. But neither does it deserve to be called “good.”
        Perhaps parents have always been divided between those who take their responsibilities seriously, and those who don't.

Parenting skills
        I have enormous admiration for the skills of many young parents today. My generation tended to be authoritarian. We expected children to obey us, right or wrong. We didn't hesitate to apply physical punishment. We didn't give children much credit for independent thinking.
        In hindsight, many of our attitudes were wrong.
        Today, I watch with awe as young parents display endless patience with recalcitrant children. They encourage rather than punish.
        But there's the other group, who still treat children as an inconvenience. They turn a blind eye to problem behaviour – their own or their children's. They don't recognize the fine line between encouraging independence and who-the-hell-cares hands-off disinterest.
        When I hear of young people who show no respect for other people's property, who don't care what kind of pain they cause their victims, who always take the easy way, and then get described as “a good kid,” I sometimes think that the parents should be held equally culpable.
        Car owners are held responsible for damage caused by their vehicles, even if they weren't driving. Employers are held responsible for the actions of their employees. Why then can't parents be held responsible for their offspring's actions?
        At the very least, those parents are guilty of wilful self-delusion.