Culture of the Comeback

     If we were to believe the majority of television programs, particularly sitcoms, it would seem that the best way to communicate with each other is through sarcastic remarks and snappy comebacks. Forget encouragement, empathy, and setting a good example. The ability to deliver a well crafted one-liner determines who is the head of the television household.

     Now, humour is essential to our survival. It's our ability to see the lighter side of things that keeps us from being a really depressing species. Those people who insist that nothing good is happening in the world and that everything is doom and gloom can really ruin a party. If we couldn't laugh at some of the things that life throws at us, we would undoubtedly all need to be fitted for those jackets with the wrap-around sleeves that tie in the back.

     But being able to laugh at ourselves and our situation is not the same thing as laughing at someone else. Particularly at someone's mistakes or personal challenges. A joke at someone else's expense isn't much of a joke.

     And yet, that's the type of comedy we're most often exposed to. And even if we don't get it, the laugh track tells us it's hilarious. Whether it’s a stand up comedian on Just for Laughs, or the latest dysfunctional family on Thursday night prime time, our chuckles are often the result of someone else's misfortune.

     Watchdog groups spend innumerable hours in front of TV sets reviewing all kinds of programs, counting the number of violent acts or sexually explicit scenes or references to them.  Then they write reports condemning titillating wardrobe malfunctions, or the shocking fact that an ad for a sports program shows a female athlete with nipples. Maybe I'm just too tolerant.

     On the other hand, I'm no fan of violence. To my mind, trailers showing psychotic hotel clerks with chainsaws and a full assortment of Inquisition tools have no place on television. And my kids will tell you it'll be a cold day before I sit down to actually watch the movie that the trailer promotes.

     So I do understand that the intention of these groups is good. Raising our awareness of what we're watching is a positive step. It helps us to make informed decisions. We just we need to be a little cautious as to the objectivity of the groups doing the reporting.

     Counting sexy negligees or bloody axes may be a valuable pursuit. However, there is another study that I would like to see. It's one that I think would be infinitely more enlightening.

     Let's count the number of times that people make derogatory comments about one another that we're supposed to laugh at.

     Healthy relationships, whether within our families, amongst our friends, or with our co-workers, are positive and supportive. We don't see too many of those in television comedy.

     By the time a child finishes elementary school, he or she will have watched approximately eight thousand people murdered. How many times will they have seen someone's self-esteem murdered for a laugh? I'm pretty sure that number is much higher.

     If researchers are correct in saying that sex and violence on TV desensitizes us to these things in real life, how much more will we be desensitized to the feelings of the people around us by negative comedy?

    If our goal is to treat others as we would like to be treated, what is the result of making sarcasm acceptable? When put-downs become the standard model for parents and kids, how do we provide encouragement?

     In a culture that finds it increasingly difficult to get along, it's really no laughing matter.